I still love you

When I was still in primary school, I always love Malaysia.

Everything that comes with Malaysia.

The food, the people (I have friends from various backgrounds, not just the same color. I had Michelle, a Kadazan girl from Miri, who was my best friend in Primary 1). I had always thought that the people running the country were a bunch of intellectuals who really know how to run the government properly and efficiently. I especially, worshiped Dr.M who was daring and bold enough to speak out among the world leaders.

Oh, sometimes, I kinda enjoy the rain and shine in Malaysia too although I was also a besotted fan of winter, snow and white Christmases.

I also have undying faith that Malaysians was the best species of humans because despite of our visual and spiritual differences, we could still live together happily and peacefully, without any sorts of racial polarization. We were tolerant and we treat each other with dignity and respect.

There were times too when I got mad because Westerners thought that Malaysia was some third world nations hidden somewhere in Asia. I got mad too when they knew about Singapore and Thailand but not Malaysia. About a couple of years ago, there was this family game show (not local one) aired over NTV7 which test the contestants on their general knowledge. On one episode, the host asked "Where is the world's tallest twin tower located?"

Apparently, the contestants were so dumb because they did not know that the world's tallest twin tower was in KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA.

Yup, I was speechless about their shallow general knowledge.

Anyway, that's really how much I love my birth land. Tanah tumpah darahku...

However, as I ventured into adolescence, I began asking myself, "Is this place really my birthplace?" Things had gotten kinda gross in the inside although appearance-wise, everything seemed to be running smoothly like water running in a lucid stream.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with the people here. Malays, Indians, Chinese and other indigenous races were leaving in harmony but there's some selfish and irresponsible culprits (who were also said to be the creme de la creme of our society) out there who were trying to wreck this harmonious bond which all of us shared here by voicing out racist comments and ignoring how others may have felt (about the comments). YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE...

I really detest these type of humans. Why can't they just go somewhere and die? Yah imma, ordi gaseo ddwejeo boryeo ???

Happy 51st Birthday Malaysia and I still love you.

Hopefully in the future, I will be able to retrieve my nostalgic childhood opinions about this nation.

ps. and may Hades bless all the culprits. *muka benci + sarcastic*

This is not a jeremiad...

Dumbfounded.

Speechless.

Astonished.

Surprised.

Flabbergasted.

Shocked.

All these adjectives are the most appropriate ones to describe my feelings hitherto. About some twenty minutes ago, anger was boiling in me and I actually took ten deep breaths to cool myself down. Thank goodness the fire in me was extinguished because I certainly do not want to end up in a conflagration.

Wei, you thought I'm a witch that deserved to be burn at stake meh?

Well, I just don't know why there are some people especially educated Malaysians do not seem to have any sort of civic-mindedness. They always display this third world mentality which was supposed to be forbidden. This is preposterous!!!

It's common sense that you throw the rubbish away when the dustbin is full of garbage. It is also common sense that you clean up the mess that you've created, regardless of who you are. In my humble opinion, even the PM should be doing that because he was supposed to be civic-minded.
Apparently, it is also of common knowledge that you do not dispose of your food or rubbish in the sink because you'll clog the sink.

But no. You people just continue doing that! Do you guys even know how to spell the word SHAME??? Allow me to teach you then...

S. H. A. M. E.

The MOE should really be coming up with a brilliant plan to educate the young ones (or else, there will be another bunch of idiots who will shame the nation and its people) instead of figuring out dozens of superb plans of theirs to vanquish vernacular schools.

AMEN.

Hello London!

It's not too late, I hope, to talk a lil' bit of the Beijing Olympic's closing ceremony on the night of 24th of August. Apparently, to my dismay, I chose not to catch it on tv. The reason? Erm...I just do not have the correct mood or the right mindset and a suitable ambiance to watch that simply because...no darling, I have not lost my enthusiasm and zeal for sporting events with tons of pretty yeojas and handsome namjas but merely because, my cheen-goos were not soaked in the sporting atmosphere. Ah well...nevertheless, I did update my self with the newspaper.

Sir David Beckham (he did got his OBE title, right?) kicked a soccer ball from the top of a red double decker bus.

Ah...that was bloody brilliant (speaking in Ron Weasley's surprised tone)! That's very English and London-ish indeed. Besides that red metallic beast and soccer and Sir David Beckham, of course, I'm pretty precarious if the English used any other humans or objects for the closing ceremony in Beijing. I mean, hey, David Beckham is phenomenal in this world and the red bus is without doubt, the icon of London.

Oh by the way, in case you did not know, London is hosting the next summer Olympic in year 2012. And, more importantly, I think they'll be facing an uphill task to emulate what the Chinese organizers did for their spectacular opening...except for the part where the actual little girl who sang the song did not get to perform due to improper arrangement of teeth and a less adorable face (my goodness! What shallow people are they!).

Hopefully, they will not be coaxing Sir David Beckham or his snobbish spouse, Victoria, into singing for the opening. This whole singing thinghy should be left to more qualified people to do it...maybe Joss Stone, Blue or hell-no, Sir Elton John (gasp!)

Heavens!!! I've been talking a bit too much, haven't I?

Capricious

Mood swings are common sickness among females. I would say, only a small percentage of females that are so lucky because they don't seem to be affected by this peculiar disease.

For your information, I happened to be the unlucky ones. Yes, mind you. I do suffer from this disease. I have no idea when or how I developed this terrifying disease so please, don't bother to ask. I tried asking before but I could get nothing out of the disease. It was as if I'm born with it.

In my case, yes, I do have my medicine but its palliative (ha! another SAT word), meaning, it cures only the symptoms but not the root of the problem. Argh!!!

Now, the worst part of mood swings is that, people might hate you because you are just so capricious! People would have troubles figuring out what went wrong you in you because you are laughing and chit-chatting happily with them and then, KABooM!!! You went amok, showing people a sour face which made them terrified (and in some cases, petrified) of you. That's when the gap between you and your friends and even some people grow distant and sometimes, things started to fall apart.

Boyfriends breaking up with their girlfriends.
Children shouting "I hate you!" to their mothers.
No more BFF.

Everything comes to an eternal end, full stop.

Well, life is capricious too.

Boyfriends reconciled with their girlfriends when the girlfriends returned to their normal behaviors.
Children planting a big kiss on their mothers' cheeks.
BFFs talk to each other again while updating each other about the latest hot hunk in town.

Haha.

Ok. Back to my mood swings. I am not trying to sound like a dogmatic philosopher forcing everyone to accept what I'm saying about mood swings but, I think it's pretty normal. Just because I am trying to be nice to everyone doesn't mean I can't be bad to you. My theory here? An eye for an eye.

As long as you don't disturb me, you are fine...


Hey!!! I am digressing!!!

Ah well, like I had said earlier, life is capricious...

Day By Day

Left.
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind

My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
saying goodbye

Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

What is it about that person next to you, did she make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day.

Oh, I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye…

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn’t see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with, so I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live on
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day.

I hope your heart feel relieved
Please forget about me and live on
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by

It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you


Don’t look back and leave
Don’t find me again and live
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day

Oh, I cry, cry
You’re my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don’t lie, lie
You’re my heart, say goodbye

Maturity - Identity Crisis

Sometimes, I feel rather childish, naive and immature. Ever since Ronald and Flora commented about me being innocent (dan chun in Chinese), I find myself asking am I really innocent and naive? Maybe even a little immature???

Appearance-wise, I do look like a kid. I just do not exude that kind of aura similar to what other 18 years old are like. Or was it because I wear clothes like a kid does?

Today, Ms Esh popped some scintillating questions.

ARE YOU MATURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE COLLEGE LIFE?

ARE YOU MATURE ENOUGH TO CHAT ABOUT SOME TABOO TOPICS?

ARE YOU MATURE ENOUGH TO ACE THE AMERICAN DEGREE PROGRAM?

At that moment, my mind started to travel back time. I did a quick evaluation on my behaviors and actions as well as every word that came out of my sometimes-big-fat-mouth. How would others perceive me? An immature 13 or 14 years old mindset? Have I been acting like someone under a drunk stupor because I am not thinking critically? Or would others have taken me as someone who was snobbish and arrogant, perhaps annoying?

Oh my god...I'm suffering from yet another identity crisis...

And I still have to work on so many other things!!!

It's Just Badminton

LCW is a debacle. When I watched him played against Hyun-il oppa the other evening, I should have at least conjectured that he would be a nonentity in the finals should he face Super Dan then. After all, there’s no variety in his game and I supposed that it must be sheer luck that he managed to bolster against the mystify look on Hyun-il oppa’s face. By the way, Super Dan is a pain in the ass himself (his skills are magnificent, finest of the century but he’s such an arrogant and snobbish dude. No offence to you, it’s just my humble opinion).

Let me just illustrate a few mistakes committed by LCW. First and foremost, he played like a loser. He kept committing unforced errors which allowed Super Dan to gain easy points. Even most of the points he gained were something like a consolation from Super Dan to him. His net play was anything but good and once again, Super Dan proved to be the master of adroit and astute net play. Having played Super Dan for more than 10 matches, LCW should have already knew that it’s not a good tactic to put his net play to testify against the more superior Super Dan’s. Besides that, LCW has no calls for most of his opponents shots especially Super Dan’s stinging jumping smashes. I would say that LCW’s defense was nothing like a defense. It was weak and most of the times; he fell for the traps set up by his enemy. Well, Super Dan was once, hailed by the Chinese media as the new Zhao Jianhua, for his deceptions which were similar to that of Zhao’s. Hence, it’s plausible for LCW to stumble. Another thing that I would like to comment about both the players is their stamina. As the first game began, LCW was literally gasping for oxygen whereas Super Dan showed no signs of the same problem. I was like, dude it’s just the start of the game and you’re already gasping as if there’s not much of oxygen left. This is definitely not the first time I saw Malaysian shuttlers showing such actions while in battle. Erm, maybe it’s time to consult some sports therapists to treat this common “sickness”.

The worst thing about LCW is that he didn’t play with his life. Just a couple of days ago, he had said that he’ll play with his life to win the gold medal for the country and the people as well as his family. What a lie.

However, credits must still go to LCW because he’s coming back from China with a silver medal to show off, drooping around his neck. Ah well, I guess that he’ll be receiving this heroic welcome at the airport like the one Hafiz Hashim got when he won the prestigious All-England Championship (but since then, Hafiz’s performance has taken a horrible backseat; till now, he couldn’t hit his top form). Hopefully, he wouldn’t repeat Hafiz’s history.

As much as I dislike Lee Yongbo and Super Dan, I still have to channel my greatest and utmost salutations to the both of them. Super Dan really live up to his top billing as the current world No.1 status and performance wise, he deserved the gold medal more than LCW. I believe that, he’ll probably be proposing to Xie Xingfang soon. *I hear the church’s bells ringing*

I still can’t believe that I wasted about an hour to watch that lop-sided match and another hour bragging about it.

It’s just badminton.

Ignorance is a blessing

Ignorance is a blessing...sometimes.

However, I just couldn't bring myself to be ignorant all the times! Imagine some real stupid imma disparage you in open. Imagine people believing in the atrocious mendacities about yourself. I really couldn't do that although I am a Buddhist. I just couldn't. I tried but each time, I failed desperately. A ludicrous failure. I feel like a complete loser.

And, as the pressure mounts on my shoulders, my limbs, I feel like running away, shunning away all my responsibilities, so that I can found my way to a new world, new utopia. Utopia which belongs to me. And only me. No one else but me. I am never a social outcast nor a hermit but, the future is capricious. No one, not even you, will know what would take place in the near or distant future. I can see no light. Nothing.

That doesn't necessarily means I'm giving up without putting up a battle. I will try my best to remain victorious. My enemies would need an arduous effort, should they want to defeat me.
No matter how terrible the outcome may be, I would still be proud of myself and I would ensure that even my great-great-great-great-great grandchildren will brag about me.

There's always a silver lining behind the clouds.

You better watch out!

2008 Beijing Olympics

Yup! The much awaited grandiose event-of-the-year is finally here!

Haha...I'm just so gonna watch it...*whee* especially badminton. Hmm...have been wondering whether Lin Dan will be able to get past the Ultimate Curse - top seed shuttler seemed to be suffering from a bad omen since badminton was introduced at the Barcelona's (did I get my facts right?)

And yea, not forgetting, Chong Wei and the gang of course. What will happen to them?

All of these unsolved puzzles will be revealed in a matter of days...

*aja aja huaiting!!!*

To thin or not to thin?

Sometimes, I wonder...is it really a must for girls and women alike, to be thin-stick?

I hated the fact that in the modeling world, these so called top models are all young, innocent teenage girls whose physical conditions are similar to the poor and hungry kids in Africa - meaning, they are thin, underweight and malnourished. Yes! It's like they are flat-chested with no backsides and oh, did I not mention that their rib cage are so visible that it seems that it can be broke into two, or worst, pieces easily?

This ain't the first time whereby some gentlemen (yea right) "extol" about my physique.

What is their problem???

Back in ancient China, during the Tang Dynasty, only fat girls would have the chance of being married off to a wealthy family. Yes! FAT GIRLS!

What I meant by fat girls are those with protruding assets, both in front and at the back. Men back then were highly amazed with the way how these women walked. The way how their firm and succulent buttocks would vacillate from one side to another and that, ladies and gentlemen, was a scene which is erotic enough to lure men to embark on their wildest imaginations. Besides that, it was also a sign of fertility.

Think it's just a poor and mendacious reason? Er, no.

There's this Emperor during the Tang Dynasty who was so obsessed with one of his concubines by the name of Yang Yu-huan. Just like any other Emperors who only know how to indulge themselves with exotic beauties, he too, lost control over his empire. And, this concubine of his was everything except thin and flat-chested. She was often portrayed as a voluptuous young women even in Chinese operas and movies that appeared much later in the world.

See??? I'm not lying...

Guys should seriously consider about converting their mindsets into something which are more realistic and relevant to the veracity of life. After all, how many of the women out there are thin like those models?

August's Summer's Surprise

*WHEE*

Today is the 1st of August 2008.
In another 7 days time, which is next Friday, if I am not mistaken, will be the opening ceremony for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. Another reason for me to slack off a little from my SAT prep...Haha...I missed the 2004's opening so I am not gonna miss this one this time.

Hopefully, my future shall not suffer from this...

Anyway, today was a lot different from the previous Fridays. The college organized this workshop aimed to promote safety awareness among both its male and female students. Initially, I was biased towards this whole workshop thinghy but it soon proved me wrong.

Oh, I just cant share what I learned today...it's for my own good.

Another thing that popped up into my mind was that, this world still has its fair share of people who care for others...I believe that that is the main factor why the world is not a bad place after all...

Quoted from Auden, "Love each other or perish".

To Captain Bala, Michael and those who were involved in the workshop, thank you so much for the time and effort that you guys have put in. I really appreciate that and I wish you guys all the best in your future!

God bless.

*Salutations to the unsung heroes*