Confused? Confusions? It's just complicated.

Never did it cross my mind that I would be this confused my whole life. Why? Well, apparently I was never a fellow who dwell too much on stuffs that might be bugging those philosophers and their rather-out-of-the-world philosophies on ethics and bla bla bla. Like I said, I don't give it a damn because I don't like to overwork my brain and its components (all the brain sap etc) to challenge these intellectuals.

Call me lazy, immature, selfish or whatever names that you could think of.

But right now, I was confused. CONFUSED.

C.O.N.F.U.S.E.D.

After attending classes for Moral Studies conducted by W.H., I finally have some mind-boggling items, playing around, hopping around in my mind which turned out to be a vast playground for theses little bastards (yay or nay).

I could no longer discern between the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. Especially when the issue of morality jumped into the big picture. What I perceived to be right and wrong in the past 18 years did not seem to be making any sense (and in my sense, it's cow sense) at all.

I was confused. I felt like a lost child in the big and modern mall in one of those metropolitan cities, wandering from shops to shops, peeping from aisles to aisles, looking frantically for Mummy and Daddy. Tears, inevitably, were streaming down the cheeks, which at one point near the jaw and chin, fallen to its death.

Ok, maybe a little too exaggerating but I am really lost and confused.

Suicide is wrong.

Abortion is wrong.

Pre-marital sex is wrong.

Co-habitation is wrong.

Cheating is wrong. All forms of cheating is wrong.

Stealing is wrong.

Homosexuality is wrong.

Adultery is wrong.

Dumping your parents into old folks' homes is wrong. So is sending legitimate (or illegitimate) child to an orphanage.

All these used to be wrong when I was younger...(except the part on pre-marital sex because I couldn't see how wrong it was since adolescence)

But then, after studying some simple complex introductions to ethics for Moral Studies (note the paradox of simple complex), the way how I used to think had a complete makeover. A 180 degrees change in attitude and perceptions.

Hey, you thought a makeover was fun huh?

Not for this though.

Now, I cannot find faults with suicides, abortions and et cetera because...because...there's no more those black and white colors receptors in my retinas! (what was the name again of those receptors? photon receptors?err...) All I could see is a certain gray area, which is pretty blurred at the same time. To make things worse, I have not much of a religious background in me, causing me to have no stand at all in either cases (despite the fact that I self-proclaimed a Buddhist...yet I don't view Buddhism as a religion).

And, when W.H. discussed such topics during class, I sometimes found myself in a pretty awkward situation as he did not provide any specific solutions or answers. (See how much I've became reliable on spoon-fed info? All thanks to the education system, in which students aren't exactly encouraged to question).

Perhaps...I should just butt off from this screen and started dwelling in another mind-boggling adventure...