Last Farewell

Last Farewell or Ma-ji-mak In-sa is a song by Big Bang. I'm not some crazy fan-girls of them though. I like their music and songs because:

1. They have written some by themselves but hell, they are still so young!
2. The musics and rhythms are so catchy!

Last Farewell is also the title of this post. Look guys, I'm dropping a hint here, just in case you still have not been able to decode why I have chosen Last Farewell as the title. During a long and almost silent hiatus, I've been thinking about things a lot.

I'm not exactly a hard-core blogger. Neither am I a celebrity blogger like Kenny Sia making big bucks in the actual world.

Kenny Sia

I'm not even a good writer (to start off with! Lol..) Not that I write like Pinkpau or SweatLee. Sigh. This is just so depressing.

Pinkpau

SweatLee

Further thoughts even commented that I am not as controversial as XiaXue and Dawn Yang. No ar, I didn't upload their pictures. They are too famous already...haha..wtf.

So yeah, I'm bidding farewell to keatyee-fied after about six months I think. This virtual spot has been a great refuge when I'm plagued by very negative thoughts. It's disheartening for me to terminate it, considering all the energy and time that I have dedicated to it. I'll be keeping it, no doubt, as a proof of my youth...haha...so corny...wtf.

Oh, but before I mumble my last goodbye to you guys, I want you guys to check this out as my blog's final request.

Bye peeps!

Photos credit to KennySia, Pinkpau and Sweatlee. Please do not sue me for using your pictures without any written permission. Gulp.

Be Right Back

Two Double 'O' Nine

Happy New Year to myself, my family and all of you! It's pretty hard for me to acknowledge that a new period had dawned barely 10 hours ago. The past few weeks have been extremely crazy - ughhh...I don't want to go through that again...But the worst thing now is that...

I'm sick...*muka sedih & crying*

But still, I must make this post *muka kuatkan azam*...

\\(^^)// New Year's Resolutions!!!

1. Fly!!! Meaning getting admitted-lah...favorable response please, favorable response PLEASE!!!...Haha!! *muka amat desperate pula*
- On a side note, one of my previous resolutions was to secure the scholarship...which I did!!! *muka buang confetti*

2. Four flat...harder but I'm working on it!!!

3. An awesome instructor for Malaysian Studies...*wishing for the impossible*

4. Good health for everyone!!!

5. Improved economy conditions...*God save the people from the terrible recession*

6. A mature brother...*sigh*

7. Improved SAT 2 score~~~

8. My cousins to grow taller and cuter!!! Haha...the short ones to grow taller and the fat ones to grow thinner...ish...

9. Improved Korean~~~~

10. Ah-ha! This one's for all MALAYZIAN girls...cuter guys~~~*swet*

That's for now-lah!!!

Happy New Year!
Selamat Tahun Baru!
Xin Nian Kuai Le!
San Lin Fai Lok!
Se-hae Pom Manee Padu Seyo~~
Bon Anee!!!

Breakfast At Tiffany's

Breakfast at Tiffany's???




Dream on-lah...Haha...For the mean time, go RasaMas...Hahaho...=)

Haha...breakfast at RasaMas's...I was at KL Sentral this morning and rather than having McBreakfast, I had Nasi Lemak with teh tarik...how Malaysian...wth...

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Nasi Lemak and teh tarik but this is the first time I had both together for breakfast...hmm...not that bad...hahaho


PS - If only Malaysia has Boxing Day sales...*sigh*...and I meant REAL sales, not some chiplak 50percent off but still have to pay like RM100++...sheesh...

A positive outlook

Maybe I should look on to the bright side of every event that happened in my life.
Maybe I should stop comparing myself with other people.
Maybe I should stop shedding tears when everyone's fast asleep.
Maybe I should have more confidence in my writing...just because I scored terribly in my SAT, it did not mean that I have problem with writing.
Maybe I should really take some time off to relax and do things that I love.
Maybe I should cook dinner more =) *especially the chicken wings*
Maybe I should start eating more apples instead of oranges.
Maybe I should watch more of Steven Chow's lame movies...I really like them because they have never failed to make me burst into fits of laughter...haha.
Maybe I should start feeling good about myself...overall.
Maybe I should start believing that I can do this.
Maybe I should start believing in something.
Maybe I should share my stories with people.
Maybe I should start pampering and praising myself on my achievements.
Maybe I should just buy that yellow top and a jacket/sweater/cardigan from Zara...Shit, I really wanted to go shopping again.
Maybe I should bug Mother Mary to bring me to MOS...or Rum's...or Sincero...ughh
Maybe I should just go for a game of pool.
Maybe I should let my inner voice shine through me...but how?
Maybe I should buy another pair of shoes...and a watch too.
Maybe I should stop staying up so late...*my latest best friend is China's national treasure*
Maybe I should stop hating that fella...and his buds...
Maybe I should prevent my Mom from asking my cousin's boyfriend whether his dad was my nemesis's Dad...ok lah, that fella is not really my nemesis lah...




Maybe I should stop typing this now and go to bed...
All hails to my first past midnight post...
I should fill this space with more positive energy...seriously. This place totally lacks all the "good" energy. I really, really wanted to feel good about myself, in whatever that I am doing. It has been very tough for me lately.

Actually, I'm the one who's making my life miserable. I'm pushing myself a little too much lately. I wanted to confide to somebody but I...I don't know why I simply could not bring those words to my mouth. I really wanted to fly to the States next fall, to begin my freshman in the one of the universities which I would be applying to soon (cue HBPNCW...especially HPNW).

But sometimes, wanting something to happen is different from something actually happening.

The other evening, while I was having my shower, a notion suddenly came into light. I realized that I was afraid of the consequences of failing to get admitted into the schools that I applied to (especially when I had applied to 7 schools and none of them wanted me) - being laughed at, going crazy (I've been dying to further my studies oversea since I-don't-know-when), feelings of dejection et cetera. I was just terribly afraid of facing them!

Perhaps this is the "thing" that has been preventing me too see myself clearly.

To write or not to write

*Cue Shakespeare*

I am now facing a mid-life crisis. No joke. MID LIFE CRISIS.

It's hard to keep going strong, keeping the momentum going all the times, 24/7. No rest at all. Period. I wish I inherited some of Einstein's genes. No, not the mind-blowing, out of the world experiments conducting ability, but rather, his perseverance. Imagine failing 1000 times but never allowed any of these failures to bring you down. I wonder how he kept his spirit high despite everyone around him laughing at his "stupidity"; some even called him an idiot.

But heck, I'm in a whole different scenario!

My friends - they all have high hopes on me - they always do =) My cousins too, especially Natalie (the Aussie one); she too thinks that I've got what it takes to nail it...big time. My uncles and aunties - they said they see no reason why I can't nail it.

Er, except for my appa and omma...they were always asking me not to pressure myself too much...oh well...I think they were afraid that I, their one and only daughter, would go haywire should I failed miserably in my quest.

And of course myself, being the ultra-ego ***** that I am, I tend to compare myself with other people (which was totally redundant) to feed my ego appetite. Period.

And from another perspective, I could see that Einstein himself was probably a bloke with immense confidence. He probably felt good about himself, felt good about his capability et cetera...and oh, he probably lived in his own world that whatever other people's comments were, he just didn't bother. "I just don't give them a damn," said Einstein.

Perhaps these were the two major difference between me and Einstein. I don't feel good about myself and I cared too much how other people would view me (it's not easy to be a recipient of the scholarship).

Worst still, most people that I knew of thought that this whole, on-going process as something so simple, so menial, that they found weird - me thinking too much of it. I really need some good Samaritan to shed some lights on me...*Oh Samaritan, where art thou?*

Have mercy on me please, Lord...

@#XDYR#$%$%$...since when did I lose my confidence? Sob Sob...

Of dejections and rejections

Remember there's this shop known as Reject Shop?

I used to criticize the clothes sold there, calling them outdated, ugly and et cetera.
I wondered how these clothes feel...after all, they were rejected stocks.

The feeling of being a reject is, well, bitter. Like quinine. It feels like as if the whole world had abandoned me, leaving me alone on Earth, waiting for the time bomb to explode. And then, the explosives will tear me into a million pieces...

I should have listen to cute-but-expressionless Keannu Reeves's caveat but I never took it seriously. Now, I'm left dumbfounded, hurt and dejected.

Again, my alarm bells are ringing vociferously while my spirit is deteriorating. I'm losing myself...

Disclaimer: This is not a post to advertise Keannu Reeves's latest cinema hit, The Day The Earth Stood Still.

Dreaming it big

Something happened earlier on and I was pretty embarrassed at this sudden, rather impromptu exposure of my dreams.

Now, the reason why I got bashful was that I cared too much of how other people are perceiving me as an individual. You know, just a normal individual. A normal individual with only normal appearance (I'm not hideous), normal intelligence (I'm no Einstein and of course, I did not score perfectly for all my exams), normal attitude, ...well, just pretty much normal I'll say. So, I get pretty upset easily when I feel that other people are starting to evaluate me as a normal individual who just cannot make it big, based on all these normality.

But to hell you go, people!

There's no rules saying that a normal and simple person cannot dream big. There's no laws saying that only people with an excellent intelligence level and an affluent background can dream big. There's no such things that only you can make it to the top while I have to work my ass off to fulfill minimum criteria to even peak. That's absurd! Sometimes, it was due to the existence of these people that I began to doubt myself, my credentials and my capabilities.

If normal people were to dream modestly, then we probably would not be having Tony Fernandez and AirAsia, Lee Ka-shing, Bill Gates and Microsoft, FaceBook and even, Donald Trump (ah yes!).

So from now onwards, I shall stop feeling bashful and embarrassed about my goals in life. At least I have the guts to dream big, unlike certain people who tried to play safe in whatever they do in lives (siapa yang termakan cili, hah, dialah yang rasa pedas). At least I gave my best in everything that I do in my life and I did not stop halfway through the process of realizing my dreams =)...Besides, I can at least boast to my cucu-cicit that I, their moyang, had once dreamed so big.

It doesn't matter whether my dreams came true or not. It doesn't matter even if I fall short of my goals. What matter most are that I have tried and savored the process of attaining my goals, which will make me a better normal individual!

Huaiting!!!

Digression:

The Buddha taught his disciples to end all cravings (which probably includes dreaming big and having big goals, I think) because cravings lead to sufferings (it's in the Four Noble Truths thinghy) . It was quite true and plausible to certain extents but then...I wasn't exactly a loyal follower of the Buddha's teachings so...hmm...

Heck, I should be studying for tomorrow...

Yikes! It's December!!?

The corny adage, "How time flies!"...

Oh well...this is just a quick post to testify that I am pretty much alive (thank you very much)...but the application and tests are killing me every second.

Arrghhh...

But then, I'm going home soon! =) I miss mummy and daddy and everyone back home!!!

I also wanna go shopping!!!








Sigh...have to wait for a few more days jek...oh well...
*Morph back into study-battle mode*

...

I hope to see you again.





I'm not sure if I could do so...

=(

Tony Pua

Oh My GOD!!!

I was browsing tonypua.blogspot.com and all of a sudden, I realized that I totally have lost contact with the world lately...I didn't even know TONY PUA got into the lokap!!!

Holy crap!

Mr. Pua probably would not be reading this, but...

"Mr. Pua ar, you have to be careful and take care of yourself. I think most of us, if not all, would not want you to end up in Kamunting under ISA like RPK. What would happened to the youngsters (ok, I should include kidults and young adults) who looked up to you? What would happened to your wife and child if you were to be served nasi kari ayam in Kamunting? "

*sniff sniff*

Grads like you from Oxford should really think twice before conducting any sorts of actions because...

you are a grad from Oxford!
You just gotta live up to that expectation...

Rintihan

Hatiku
yang semakin hari
semakin kecut
sudah tidak tahu
apa yang harus dilakukan.

Mataku
liar memandang
alam nyata di sekelilingku
yang rupa-rupanya
diselubungi
baka-baka bijak bestari.

Telingaku
memberi tumpuan
tidak berbelah bahagi
kepada insan-insan
di sekelilingku
khusyuk mendengar
rintihan hati yang
bergema-gema
akhir-akhir ini.

Mulutku
semakin hari semakin berat jadinya.
Kata-kata yang kulemparkan
kutakuti menjadi
pisau tajam yang menusuk
hati Si Adam dan Hawa.

Peti mindaku
juga bertambah
simpulan-simpulan
dan ikatan-ikatan mati
yang sesungguhnya
menyekat perkembangan jiwa
yang positif.

Aku seolah-olah merasakan
masa depanku
tidak lagi mendapat
berkat cahaya Sang Suria.

Yang tinggal
hanyalah sebuah mimpi
yang membawa harapan palsu.

Confused? Confusions? It's just complicated.

Never did it cross my mind that I would be this confused my whole life. Why? Well, apparently I was never a fellow who dwell too much on stuffs that might be bugging those philosophers and their rather-out-of-the-world philosophies on ethics and bla bla bla. Like I said, I don't give it a damn because I don't like to overwork my brain and its components (all the brain sap etc) to challenge these intellectuals.

Call me lazy, immature, selfish or whatever names that you could think of.

But right now, I was confused. CONFUSED.

C.O.N.F.U.S.E.D.

After attending classes for Moral Studies conducted by W.H., I finally have some mind-boggling items, playing around, hopping around in my mind which turned out to be a vast playground for theses little bastards (yay or nay).

I could no longer discern between the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. Especially when the issue of morality jumped into the big picture. What I perceived to be right and wrong in the past 18 years did not seem to be making any sense (and in my sense, it's cow sense) at all.

I was confused. I felt like a lost child in the big and modern mall in one of those metropolitan cities, wandering from shops to shops, peeping from aisles to aisles, looking frantically for Mummy and Daddy. Tears, inevitably, were streaming down the cheeks, which at one point near the jaw and chin, fallen to its death.

Ok, maybe a little too exaggerating but I am really lost and confused.

Suicide is wrong.

Abortion is wrong.

Pre-marital sex is wrong.

Co-habitation is wrong.

Cheating is wrong. All forms of cheating is wrong.

Stealing is wrong.

Homosexuality is wrong.

Adultery is wrong.

Dumping your parents into old folks' homes is wrong. So is sending legitimate (or illegitimate) child to an orphanage.

All these used to be wrong when I was younger...(except the part on pre-marital sex because I couldn't see how wrong it was since adolescence)

But then, after studying some simple complex introductions to ethics for Moral Studies (note the paradox of simple complex), the way how I used to think had a complete makeover. A 180 degrees change in attitude and perceptions.

Hey, you thought a makeover was fun huh?

Not for this though.

Now, I cannot find faults with suicides, abortions and et cetera because...because...there's no more those black and white colors receptors in my retinas! (what was the name again of those receptors? photon receptors?err...) All I could see is a certain gray area, which is pretty blurred at the same time. To make things worse, I have not much of a religious background in me, causing me to have no stand at all in either cases (despite the fact that I self-proclaimed a Buddhist...yet I don't view Buddhism as a religion).

And, when W.H. discussed such topics during class, I sometimes found myself in a pretty awkward situation as he did not provide any specific solutions or answers. (See how much I've became reliable on spoon-fed info? All thanks to the education system, in which students aren't exactly encouraged to question).

Perhaps...I should just butt off from this screen and started dwelling in another mind-boggling adventure...

Special Post "Dedicated" to Some ARSE...

Nuff said...

Korean-ing we go...

It's a Saturday.

I know. But Math class on a Saturday morning??!

That's kinda creepy, don't you think so? Anyway, (perhaps it's because of this whole Math class on a Saturday morning) out of nowhere, Princess suddenly suggested to have Korean cuisines for lunch. Yup, it's that capricious. But who cares? I am a self-admit Korean freak after all! *Long Live DBSK*

Korean food in Ampang - I've been DYING to eat there!

Hence, the "brilliant" idea of asking Pinkie Guy (for your information, he's not one of those besotted fan boy of our 2nd Malaysian Idol) for directions to Ampang's Korean Town (it's only a shabby Korean Street-lah in my opinion) since he lived somewhere there. For your information, I was stupid enough to think that Pinkie Guy might be free on a Saturday morning and that he could probably lead us there...*right, I am that naive*...clearly, he ruined one half of my day...

No! Pinkie Guy is not a besotted fan boy of this guy *refer to pic above*

Since we lost the "tongkat", we have no choice but to believe in ourselves and some intrinsic instincts, coupled with some vague memories of the place as we hopped onto a RapidKL bus to KL Sentral before taking another train to KLCC. From KLCC, we took another RapidKL bus to Ampang Point.

That's approximately two hours of traveling time, mind you. And, may I present to you two very sane lassies who were "gila" enough to go searching for Korean food with me in Korean Town.

Ta-da!

After a HUGE letdown by Pinkie Guy, I was pretty down that at one point, I felt like I'll just have a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder for lunch...*hell no! I would NEVER be able to take a Big Mac / Quarter Pounter by myself...sial ar me?*

However, by the time we reached Bee Won at around half-past two, I still could not eat a cow *and it's all Pinkie Guy's fault...hmmphh*

THE CALLINGS

The callings of the delicious and mouth watering side dishes, alas, melted away my sorrows as I took my first bite of the potato cake, kimchi, the anchovies with red dates, seaweeds et cetera.

Kimchi Bokum Bap

Kimchi Jjigae (Kimchi Stew/Soup) with Rice

BULGOGI! This was the best dish!!!*my, I'm such a carnivor*

I enjoyed and savored every bite that I took at the restaurant. The Bulgogi or beef especially, was marinated to perfection with soy sauce and black pepper and indeed, sent some orgasmic sensations to not only my taste buds, but every inch of my body too...

LoL...how exaggerating...but heck, like I care??? Duh...

BURPPPPPP!!!!!!!

OOPS!!

Sorry for that LOUD burpppppp but I was so fuLLLLLLL...which was a good sign to the restaurant because it meant that the food was really good =) Masshiseoyo!!!

While waiting for Princess, I found a peculiar thing, stuck right out of this ajar, wooden door panel.



Another zoom on my camera finally solved the mystery...



Haha...that's funny and it made me felt like a stalker (again)...nevertheless, I *heart* being one...
How about you? Fancy joining moi???

Hahahaha *muka rolling*


On a side note, I had the weirdest and lamest dream ever this morning.

Someone came straight to my face and say, 'Did you know why XXX didn't like you? You are quite pretty but you're too fat!"

LOL....that's as if someone just spat on my face...

*muka emo + gaya emo ShinChan*

Here we go again...

PS - Ain Arabia...next!

O.B.A.M.A and M.E.

Logically, I have nothing to do with the first African-American President of the United States of America but since I should be going to the States to further my studies, I believe that Mr. O.B.A.M.A. and I do share this special bond. (OMG!)

Anyway, yay! He won the election!

*muka throwing confetti*

This is definitely a historical moment. It concerns not only Americans but I think that the impact of this election is certainly felt by almost everyone on EARTH...maybe a lil' exaggerating here.

But then, it also shows that race is no longer a taboo (that it used to be) when it comes to selecting a nation's president/prime minister for that matters. It also shows that as each day passes by, the human race is getting more mature and they are (indeed) ready for a change, any change in fact.

So perhaps one day, maybe in my country too, we will have an Indian/ a Chinese PM who is as capable as Mr. O.B.A.M.A. to lead this country towards greater heights, and hopefully, he/she will be able to live the Malaysian Dream; a dream in which everyone is a Malaysian, not Malaysian Indian or Malaysian Chinese.

On a side note,


I AM SO CUTE!!!

^^

TOEFL-ing and ROLL-ing

Glad I didn't screw it after all you know...
Thank you god...

*Finally a good night sleep*

Heck...

*muka shake head*

Still have presentation on Thursday...sigh...

*muka rolling*


'Nuff said, there goes my beauty sleep...

*muka sedih*

PINK

Not that I am a besotted fan girl of PINK...



But um,....








PINK

PINK







PINK

Just PINK...

One Word: Incredible!

Incredible hor?

To gain access to this "premier" restroom, one must pay two bucks per entry. And, it is clearly stated that patrons have to provide exact change.

*I personally think that it's because the toilet jaga is too lazy to count how much to return to a patron should he/she decides to pay with a ten ringgit note*...teeheehee...

I even joked with Mother Mary and Shen that the restroom was probably made of 916 pure gold!!! (you know the gold toilet bowl and all)

So you see, I can not comprehend why they even bother to do such things. If you are charging twenty or thirty cents per entry, then I'm fine with it but what the hell, two bucks per entry??? Goodness grace! What is so special about this "premier toilet" ?

Ok, forget about the toilet and let me tell you what happened next.

The strap of my bag, apparently, was getting itself torn into two. Oh My God! How "incredible". Having an all-girl outing and my bag showed no mercy on me by ending it's life??! *Bad bag, bad bag* If that's the case, I really had to get a new bag...quick. Otherwise, where should I put all my pencils, Discman, pencil case and clothes? *gulp*

So, I ended up getting a new, big, brown bag for myself =) how incredible, hor? *although Mother Mary and Shen kept emphasizing that it was just an excuse for me to do some shopping...hmmphh*

And this, is the picture which we took at Dorothy Perkins in Pavilion. *Aiyo, so lame lah...haha*


From left to right: Shen (sudah lama berpunya), Moi S2, and Mother Mary (baru berpunya).

Just in case Mother Mary came across this post:

"Eh, so what if Mr. Khor looked like Winnie The Pooh? Still cute and adorable wert...besides, Malayzia where got WuZhun? Even the real WuZhun was from our neighbour, Brunei...haha...By the way, Winnie The Pooh is also very cuddlesome wert..."

For Shen,

"Ya lah, ya lah, I'll stop banging Ian The King lah...I'll praise him from now on...=)"

Another incredible thing that I did was to go pooling.
Ta-da!!!


Mother Mary was the expert here. Of course, people got si-fu mah...


This is Shen, the second pool expert among the three of us. *eh, don't play play*

And me, the neophyte! Another incredible event of the day.

It was my first time playing pool and hey, it was not as bad as I thought. I also found out that this game also stressed on some Physics knowledge, especially Newton's Third Law of Reaction =). We shall play again next time jek.


No-lah, this ah ma is not my ah ma lah. She's just another lady whom me and Mother Mary met today while waiting for the bus to One-U. This ah ma started to chat with us when I asked Mother Mary what was that time then (this ah ma, surprisingly, replied, "It's one forty-five." Then, she started telling us that the buses were very slow on weekends, snatch thieves cases and all. And oh, she even told us about her son and daughter *implying stuffs that her son and daughter was so smart because they got scholarships and all, and it's because she used to feed them with deep-sea fish like ikan kurau, mackerel and tuna*

me + Mother Mary = *swet*

But it was still incredible because it's not everyday that you can find an ah ma who speak (rather) fluent English =)

This would be the last "incredible-ness" of the day...

I ate a foot-long turkey ham and turkey breast SubWay sandwich all by myself for brunch. No, I'm not proud of such an "achievement" because it was TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO heavy and fulfilling!!!!

*How silly and what an awesome stupidity level displayed by an eighteen year-old*

Kids, please don't try this at SubWay...

Signing off with incredible-ness...

The Urge

This is so sudden but...


YunHo yah...I *heart* you...


*Hai-yo, now what time ar? Still YunHo?? Haih...tomorrow sure die-la...*

S2 S2 S2 S2 S2 YunHo S2 S2 S2 S2 S2